If you’ve ever attended one of my workshops or educational seminars, you’ll know that one of the first rules of sex is lube, lube, lube! Along with an open mind and honest communication, lube is fundamental to both safety and pleasure. There is just so much more you can do in terms of stroking, pulsing, squeezing, twisting, rubbing and kissing when you’re both nice and wet.
Not only does lube decrease the risk of condom breakage, but research indicates that women who use lube report higher levels of sexual pleasure. A study of 2,453 women found that the use of water-based and silicone-based lubricants significantly increased sexual satisfaction and decreased the occurrence of undesirable genital symptoms including pain and discomfort.
Though some people have expressed that using lube feels clinical or detracts from the sexual experience, once you give it a try you’ll quickly realize that it can actually heighten your sexual response. Even putting it on can be hot and exciting, so experiment with different modes of application:
- Rub it all over your breasts as you look into your partner’s eyes and then rub your slippery boobies all over your partner’s sweet spots.
- Sensually apply lube to your lips and then use your wet lips to spread it all over your partner’s genitals.
- Use a soft paint brush or make-up brush to apply to all of your hot zones.
- Put some lube in the palm of your hand and make a fist allowing the drops to slowly drip all over your thighs or your partner’s groin.
- Apply flavoured lube generously and then sensually lick off some of the excess.
- Refrigerate your favourite lube for a few hours and play with the cool tingle in your mouth while you go down on your partner. Alternate with a sip of hot water or tea to play with temperature and keep your partner guessing.
- Rub your hands together and use your breath to warm the lube before stroking your partner.
- Tease a little! Use lube to trace a slow line or circle around a hot spot without directly touching the erogenous zone to draw blood and awareness to the area. You can use a finger or two for this technique or you can get more creative with your tongue, lips, nipples or breath.
Remember that only water and silicone-based lubes are condom safe and there are a ton of great brands with subtle flavours and scents on the market. You can even pick up vegan, organic and eco-friendly varieties, so have fun experimenting, tasting and getting wet!
Until next time, have fun, expand your horizons and always practice safer sex.
Dr. Jessica O’Reilly is a board-certified sexologist committed to helping clients enjoy healthy, pleasurable sex lives. She has completed her PhD in human sexuality with a focus on training teachers to deliver effective sex education. She loves her work (obviously!) and splits her time between public speaking engagements, freelance writing, program development and consulting in the field of sexual health.
