The life of a sexologist is an exciting one! I know –hard to believe, right? And among the many fun and interesting projects I contribute to on a daily basis, hosting workshops on sexual pleasure is one of my favourite parts of the job. I love the energy, anticipation and insightful questions participants bring to the session and I always learn something new from each group.
Many people wonder what types of techniques we cover (and practice!) in a typical Blow His Mind Session, so I thought I’d share a few tips that may just keep him coming back for more.
Before we get started, we need to remember that no two men are the same (thank goodness!) and accordingly, no two penises, balls or prostates are identical in their sexual response. Even those men who know exactly what brings them to the height of ecstasy admit that their needs change over time. Mood, diet, time elapsed since last sexual encounter, stress, energy levels and a host of other factors influence what feels good during any sexual encounter. So the techniques outlined below are merely suggestions and certainly not a recipe for the perfect blow job. Play with them, have fun and ask your partner for feedback to find out what he loves and what he can do without.
Here are just a few tips to get you started:
- Consider massaging his thighs and lower abdomen and allowing your hands, chest, lips and breath to gently brush against his penis and balls before diving in. Resist the urge to grab right away!
- Use tons of lube. Your saliva is great, but it may not last as long as a water-based lube. If you want to simulate other types of penetration (vaginal, anal, etc.) using your mouth, you’ll need lots of lube to “trick” his dick.
- Tease his penis and balls with your tongue (no lip-contact) as you get him worked up. Try drawing a sensual “W” along the base or a “V’ against the head/glans.
- Rub lube all over your breasts (or another body part you love) and rub them all over his shaft until it’s soaked.
- The Harmonica: Run your lips and tongue up and down the underside of his penis while holding it flat against his lower abdomen with the pressure of your lips.
- Use your hands and fingers as an extension of your lips and mouth. You can elongate your mouth by creating an okay-sign with your super-lubed index finger and thumb and placing it in against your lips. As you move up and down the shaft of his penis, you should be able to move deeper and he shouldn’t be able to differentiate between your hands and mouth. Add more fingers as desired.
- Cock Ring: Form an okay sign with your index finger and thumb and squeeze tightly at the base of his penis and you tightly seal your lips around and move them slowly from base to tip. Draw several “S’s” with your tongue as you move up and down and rotate your head to apply varied pressure.
- Cover your upper teeth with your upper lip and cover your lower teeth with your tongue. This should give you a nice tight grip so you can suck away!
- Throat Kegels: Move your lips toward the base of his penis and when you reach your deepest point, swallow slowly and intensely several times. As you swallow, you can apply pulsing pressure to simulate or intensify orgasmic contractions.
- Don’t forget to use your lubed hands throughout the experience to play with his balls, thighs and perineum. The perineum is the space between his butt hole and scrotum and pressure on this area can stimulate the internal bulb of the penis as well as the prostate.
As he approaches orgasm, you might want to pay attention to the lower few inches of his shaft using constant pressure and rhythmic stroking and sucking. And don’t be afraid to get a bit loud and messy. Let him know that you like it and encourage him to give you feedback and show appreciation for all your hard, sexy work.
These are just a few techniques among an infinite number of pleasurable possibilities. What are your go-to moves?
Dr. Jessica O’Reilly is a board-certified sexologist committed to helping clients enjoy healthy, pleasurable sex lives. She has completed her PhD in human sexuality with a focus on training teachers to deliver effective sex education. She loves her work (obviously!) and splits her time between public speaking engagements, freelance writing, program development and consulting in the field of sexual health.Learn more at www.jessicaoreilly.com
