By Stephen de Wit
The age-old question: Is bigger better? Rages on. And there is no right answer. It is whatever your preference is. Some women like feeling “full” or “stretched” by their partner’s penis and some women like the depth of penetration.
Some men like tight. The basics of it are simple. A tighter vaginal canal increases the friction of the penis in the vagina. During the female sexual response cycle the vaginal barrel naturally increases in size. For a man this can decrease the friction and stimulation regardless of the size of his penis.
So if you are a woman who is with a man who has been blessed with less than what you desire and you have not been seduced by the penis enlargement SPAM in your inbox. You can take responsibility for the pleasure of your experience. If you can’t make the peg bigger make the hole smaller… or tighter in this case.
So how do you do it?
Don’t worry! There are no weights, sweating, or partners involved. That can be a good or bad thing depending on what you like. But let’s get into it.
Kegels
Without getting into the details of the anatomy and muscles involved with the Kegel exercises, the most important thing is that there is a direct correlation between good tone in the Pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle) and orgasmic intensity.
If that isn’t enough to get you doing these every day, below are some other advantages for exercising these muscles:
1. Increases your awareness of feelings in your genital area.
2. Increases blood circulation in the genital area.
3. Adds to your sexual responsiveness.
4. Aids in restoring vaginal muscle tone following childbirth.
5. Increases your control over your orgasm.
6. Allows you to “grasp” a cock, finger or dildo in your vagina increasing the intensity of the experience.
7. Provide a tight vaginal canal for your partner’s pleasure as mentioned above.
8. With increased muscle control you gain the ability to not only contract but also relax and accommodate larger objects.
9. To identify your PC muscle, when you need to urinate, see if you can start and stop the flow of urine with your legs apart (without moving your legs together). The PC muscle is the one that stops the flow.
If you do not find it the first time, do not give up; try again the next time you need to urinate. Men can stand.
EXERCISES
1) SLOW KEGELS – Tighten the PC muscle and hold it as you did when you stopped the flow of urine for a slow count of three. Then relax the muscle.
Stop reading and do ten of the above exercises now.
2) QUICK KEGELS – Tighten and relax the PC muscle as rapidly as you can. At first it will feel like a flutter. You will gradually gain more control.
Stop reading and do ten of the above exercises now.
3) PULL IN/PULL OUT – Pull up the entire pelvic area as though trying to suck up water into the genitals. Then push out or bear down as if trying to push the imaginary water out. (This exercise will use a number of “stomach” or “abdominal” muscles as well as the PC muscle)
Stop reading and do ten of the above exercises now.
REPITITIONS
At first do ten of these exercises (one set), 3 times a day (3 sets x 10 times x 3 times a day = 90 total repetitions)
Each week add 5 to each exercise. Example:
Week 2, 3 sets x 15 times x 3 times a day = 135 total repetitions
Week 3, 3 sets x 20 times x 3 times a day = 180 total repetitions
Week 4, 3 sets x 25 times x 3 times a day = 225 total repetitions
You can help yourself remember to do these exercises by associating them with some activity you do every day: talking on the phone, watching television, waiting in line, or lying in bed. Think of activities which don’t require much moving around.
Do not worry if your muscles seem to get tired easily at first; that’s normal for exercising any new muscle group. Rest between sets for a few seconds and start again. Remember to keep breathing naturally.
Women can place one or two fingers into the vagina and men one finger on each side of the base of the penis in order to feel the movement and strength of the muscle. You may also watch the movement by looking at your genitals in a hand mirror. Doing these things with your Kegels will help you to learn them more rapidly.
Empower yourself. Make your sex life bigger and better!
Stephen de Wit
Dr. Stephen de Wit is a Toronto sexologist and sexual communications coach. Stephen is on a one man mission to ensure that everyone lives the sexually empowered existence they want. He has completed his Doctorate of Human Sexuality and focuses his energy on keynotes, workshops, seminars, writing and media appearances always with a fun, interactive, high impact approach. For more information visit www.drdewit.com.
